The Friend Zone

How to Get Out of the Friendzone

The Friend Zone is a dark place every guy has been to at one point in their lives. 

It is a place where a woman thinks of you as friend, and not as a romantic or sexual interest. And let’s be honest here, a woman can choose whether or not she is into you. You might just not be her type, or maybe she’s into someone else.

But for a lot of guys, a woman friendzoned you because of one huge reason.

This is the Number 1 Reason for her thinking of you as just a friend…

She friendzoned you because you didn’t make your intentions clear.

You probably started off with friendly small talk, eventually got her number, but only talked to her as a friend. You never flirted or gave any hint of sexual interest.

You treated her like a “buddy” and now she treats you like one. Most people don’t want to take personal responsibility, but in this case you are the one to blame. You can’t expect a girl to think of you as a potential boyfriend if you treat her only as a friend.

When I was a teenager I had the same thing happen to me, and I never got out of the friendzone because of it. 

So next time, make your intentions clear.

How can you do that?

You ask her out on a date the first time you meet her instead of waiting. 
You tell her she’s gorgeous, hot, beautiful, sexy or whatever you’d like.
You don’t “hang out” with her like a friend, you either go on a date or have sex. 
You overcome the fear of rejection, and go after what you really want. 

It can be a tricky situation for those of you who have been in the Friend Zone for a long time…

We’ve all heard of relationships where a guy and a girl started out as “just friends” and became best friends. Eventually, these best friends ended up dating and having a great relationship. However, the chances of this happening aren’t always great. 

Most of the time the girl might say something like, “You’re such a good friend and I really don’t want to ruin our friendship,”

Often there’s nothing you can do to change that.

What you can do is learn from the experience and grow as a man. Stop thinking about this specific girl as a romantic interest and look elsewhere. 

The next time you talk to a girl that you’re attracted to, you’ll know how to make your intentions clear.

You’ll end up with a girlfriend, or a rejection. Either way, it’s better than obsessing over one girl that you can’t be with, in hopes that one day “She’ll see what a great guy I am and fall for me!”…Yeah right. 

This post could end right here, but for those of you that are really stubborn about a specific girl, here’s what you do: 

You call or text her with some version of, “We need to talk, let’s meetup at “some location” at 4.”

You can pick whatever place you want to meet her. If you really have been friends for a long time I’m sure she’ll show up.

Some of you might be too afraid to do it in person, but it comes across as more confident if you do. It’s much easier for her to reject you if you only send her a text of how you feel. 

It’s not easy, but you need to show her what you want. You have to straight up ask her out on a date, and tell her what you want. You got yourself in this mess, it’s time to get out. 

You might say something like:

“Kate, we’ve been friends for a while, but I realized I like you more than that. There’s a concert Friday at 8, come with me and we’ll call it a date.”

Sounds kind of weird right? It isn’t the best possible thing you could say, or even the perfect line. You might even think “There’s no way I’m going to say that.” That’s because most of you guys “stuck in the friendzone” are such Nice Guys that you don’t want to confront your feelings and potentially face rejection. 

You are giving her a choice: She can either date you, (which is what you want) or you find out she isn’t interested and you can move on.

Telling a girl what you want like this, will make you into a better man who isn’t afraid of hiding what he wants.

You are showing her that you go after what you want in life, instead of being her emotionally supportive guy friend who secretly crushes on her. 

Stop waiting to tell her how you feel, and just do it.

Most of the time guys don’t get out of the friendzone because they never make a move.

Some guys feel like they need permission to make a move. 

I give you permission, now make a move.

If she says she still just wants to be friends after you tell her how you feel, you have two options:

1. You can be a man with boundaries, and tell her “I like you, but I won’t be just friends with a girl I have feelings for,” and the relationship ends there. Which is what I would do, and what is the best thing to do. She’ll respect you more as a man if you do. You move on to another girl and learn from your mistakes. She might even text you a week later and say she changed her mind, I’ve seen it happen. 

2. You agree to be just friends like a spineless beta male, and continue obsessing over this girl and feeling like crap because you desire her but can’t have her. Do not go with door number 2.

Stop waiting for the perfect moment or the right thing to say.

Stop waiting for her to choose you.

Stop waiting for your turn while other guys are making their move. 

You are a man, make your move and make your intentions clear.

You will feel like a huge burden was lifted off of your shoulders if you do.

Good luck. 


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  1. Good post dude.

    Luckily I’ve never been in the friendzone. Not because I’m some super smooth guy but because I’ve never had a girl as a friend haha. Do you think its good or bad to have girls as a friend? I’ve only had one girlfriend but no girls as actual friends.

    1. You have to determine whether its good or bad for you personally. If you have feelings for the girl, then obviously it isn’t a good thing. But if it’s a genuine friendship with a girl, no attraction involved, then it isn’t a bad thing. But friendships like those are hard to find.

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