This isn’t some Pick Up Artist article that will teach you techniques and mind games to keep women attracted to you.
Here I will discuss a very common part of normal social interactions with women that is so often overlooked.
Believe it or not, shit tests, comfort tests, rapport breaks, whatever you’d like to call them, are actually talked about in some college textbooks about sociology and psychology. This isn’t something I made up.
You might think something like this doesn’t make a huge difference. You probably think “Oh this is just another BS article that’s too good to be true!” All I can tell you is, take some of my words and try them out in person, you’ll love the reactions from women.
If you don’t learn how to pass shit tests you’ll be at a disadvantage with women. Trust me, I’ve seen plenty of guys lose a woman’s interest because they failed here.
This is the 100% truth, based on my experiences, and without this knowledge you’ll be way behind men that are actually aware of this. Other than becoming a better looking man, this secret is absolutely key for building even more attraction.
What is the Secret?
Passing Shit Tests.
What Exactly Are Shit Tests?
At the most basic level, a shit test is anything that women say to test you. Some shit tests are hard to recognize, but most are “attacks” against you and your frame. The majority of the time, women will test you only if they are interested in you. A normal person would think that a girl was just being rude or mean to them. In reality, she was testing how you responded to what she said. Many women, if not all women, use shit testing as a way of flirting with men (even if they don’t realize it).
Shit tests can be viewed as, “How will you handle what I just said.”
Let’s face it, women have a lot of options for sex and dating.
It may sound strange, but shit testing can be used to filter out the number of guys going after them. She’ll shit test you to see your true character. If you fail the tests, she loses respect and attraction to you.
Think about it, does a woman really want to be with a man who easily gets upset by what she says? Does a woman want a man who doesn’t stand up for himself? The answer is no.
Now, if you aren’t getting shit tested at all there could be three things going on:
1. She isn’t attracted to you sexually, and has no interest in how you respond to her.
2. She thinks she is lucky to have you, and believes you are better looking or “higher value” than her so she doesn’t need to test you. (For example, she’s average looking and you look like a male model.)
3. She is actually shit testing you, but you aren’t recognizing the tests.
Whichever scenario, all of you reading this have been shit tested before. Shit testing or “poking fun” at people is done all the time, and it’s a part of many social interactions.
Men will shit test other men too, it’s not just limited to women.
Shit testing is a way of seeing how someone deals with social pressure. They don’t always have to be questions they can also be statements like, “That shirt looks really bad on you.”
Most people shit test because they are trying to figure out what type of person you really are. People consciously and subconsciously determine this by seeing how you handle these tests, and figure out what you are really like.
Before I ramble more about shit tests, here are some examples of them so you can understand:
If you come across as a player, women will often say,
“You’re such an asshole”
“Do you think you’re cool or something?”
“I bet you’re just a Player”
“How many girls have you slept with?”
“Do you really like me, or do you just want to use me for sex?”
If you’re in a relationship, or even married there will be many of them like,
“Why don’t you pay enough attention to me?”
“Were you just checking that girl out?”
“Do you really care about me?”
“Would you stay with me if I got really fat?”
“How many girls have you slept with before we started dating?”
You should never respond to a shit test with anger, or with an outburst of emotion.
That would show her that what she said is really getting to you. Most of the time, you’ll pass the test if you respond with some sort of “light humor”, or you just brush off what she said like it didn’t matter. Additionally, what you say shouldn’t come off as trying too hard.
An Important Note: Don’t fall into the trap of believing everything is a shit test. Some guys go too far and start interpreting every question as a test, and that is not the right idea. Shit tests are usually worded differently, and spoken in a challenging tone of voice.
However, some shit tests can be hard to recognize because they seem so much like normal questions and statements. Overtime, you will get better and better at recognizing these like I did.
Below are examples of very common shit tests, and examples of how to respond to them.
Note: ST=Shit Test, R= Response.
ST: “I don’t sleep with guys on the first date.” (or any variation of this.)
R: “Don’t get ahead of yourself lady, you better wine and dine me if you want to get in my pants.”
ST: “I only date tall guys, I bet I’m taller than you.”
R: “Who said anything about dating?” (said in a playful way)
ST: ” Do you have a girlfriend?” or “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” (This isn’t always a shit test, but should be treated like one.)
R: “Yeah i’ve got six of ’em” or the easiest answer, even if you don’t have a girlfriend, “It’s complicated.” (don’t say this like you’re upset about it, instead say it playfully and/or indifferently.)
ST: “I have a boyfriend.” (This isn’t always a shit test, but some girls without them still say it)
R: “So does my girlfriend” or “I’m not surprised by that you’re gorgeous, but we can work around that” There are many options for this particular one, the key is to be carefree or funny about it. Be cautious because you might get slapped or get a drink thrown on you if you go overboard with this. Sometimes women say this to men who they aren’t interested in at all. If thats so, she won’t be showing any signs of attraction in the first place, and you can move along.
ST: “You’re such an Asshole.”
R: “Thanks, that means a lot to me.” or “I bet you love assholes” Once again, there are many options, don’t overthink it.
ST: “”Are you gay?” or “What are you gay or something?” (Almost always a shit test.)
R: “Why, do you need good blowjob tips?” or “No I’m not gay…but my boyfriend is” Many guys get offended by this question, so the key is to seem unphased.
Those are very common tests, and you will definitely run into them (if you haven’t already).
You don’t need to answer those questions word for word with what I said. Because there isn’t a perfect one liner for every single scenario. And you shouldn’t focus on being perfect or smooth in the first place because it won’t come across as natural.
Responding playfully is usually the safe bet, you’ll seem like a fun person and like you’re having a good time. PUAs actually have point when they say you should be self-amused.
But you don’t need to do that for every test that comes your way. Often times, you get a question that is perfectly okay to answer normally, like “What kind of car do you drive?” She may seem like a gold digger when she asks this, but realize that many women do it, and there is no point in dodging every question. Often times, a mixture of playing around and honesty works the best. Don’t over analyze things too much.
If you continue to see a girl she will catch on to you never taking her seriously, dodging questions, and joking around a lot. This is not good, and I repeat, not good, for building comfort in the relationship.
This is how it works, and how I’ll wrap up this post…
If you pass every shit test in what I’d call the “Asshole Way” (being selfish, not showing interest in her, not taking her seriously) she will end up thinking you’re actually an asshole, and definitely won’t consider you boyfriend material. This happened to me, and she said “You’re such an asshole” at least 5 or 6 times that night.
I came across as a “douchebag player” according to her. Some women, though they deny it, are very attracted to these types of guys. But the key is balance between them.
At the end of the day, it really depends on what your personal goal is.
Like I pointed out in my post Do Nice Guys Finish Last?, if you want to be in a long term relationship with this girl then you need to show at least, some signs that you care. You can’t act like she matters absolutely nothing to you if you really want a successful relationship.
You might even end up attracting emotionally damaged women if you always treat them poorly.
If you’re going for a one night stand then coming across like this isn’t always bad. But towards the end of the night when you make a move, you generally have to show that you care at least a little bit.
For example, you get the shit test of “I bet you say this to every girl,” or “You do this with every girl don’t you?”
You could of course, go with a cocky funny response like, “Yeah I got laid 5 times this week doing/saying just that”, but you wouldn’t be building comfort or trust. She might still be attracted to you but could be put off by that.
If you want to make a connection with this woman, you might be better off answering the question normally, “No I don’t do this to every girl, and I actually think you’re pretty cool, is this how you treat every guy?” Here you’re answering with honesty and then putting the spotlight back on her like she did something wrong. Now she has to qualify herself to you.
The bottom line is that you will be hit with shit tests eventually. As long as you identify them and learn from every interaction you’ll get better everytime you go out.
Looking back in my earlier days, almost every failed situation with a girl was because I answered all of their questions honestly and seriously. I failed many shit tests.
I had no element of mystery or playfulness in my repertoire. I never acted like I was better than the girl. I always answered their questions seriously because I didn’t fully understand the social situation. Women notice this, and assume you aren’t very good with women.
Now that I have a greater social understanding of the dynamics between women and men, I see how passing shit tests gets results.
Passing shit tests shows the girl that you are a real man; a man that doesn’t put up with her shit.
Too many guys nowadays, are focused on being nice to the girl and trying to be respectful. These nice guys put women on a pedestal, and women don’t get aroused by that.
Passing shit tests probably puts you in the Top 10% of Men.
It signals to the woman that you have experience, options, and don’t take her very seriously. On top of that, passing shit tests is fun and often makes the girl laugh.
The next time you’re with a girl, blow through all her shit tests and you’ll be shocked at the results.