Most men who spend a decent amount of time on the internet are bound to find PUA/Game Blogs, Forums and Videos. They talk about different strategies of approaching women and what to say to them.
They want to draw in guys who are lonely and desperate to get laid. (typically virgins and inexperienced men)
What is PUA and Game?
Game – Certain pickup lines, or moves you use to attract someone and get them into the bedroom. The words you say.
Pick Up Artist (PUA) – Someone who spends the majority of their time approaching women using many different techniques of game. They refer to people they approach as “Sets” and have different strategies for each Set.
Many of these PUAs and Dating Coaches make a living from teaching guys this stuff. PUAs try to sell them books/guides, and some encourage their followers to spend hundreds of dollars on “in person training”. I’ve heard of one guy who will remain nameless (for legal purposes), who charged 5000$ for a one on one session. This PUA wants five grand so he can teach you how to talk to women…seems legit.
Sadly there are PUAs out there that make fake infield videos. An infield video is a video where a PUA goes out in public and approaches women. Some of these “experts” actually hire models, actresses and random women for their videos; they pay them to get picked up on camera. Don’t believe everything your favorite PUA says if you’re not even positive his videos are real.
Truthfully, some PUAs do actually have good advice, that can be useful in certain situations. However, a lot of them try to sell you the idea that “Looks Don’t Matter,” and that couldn’t be more wrong. They’ll say looks don’t matter so that they can make more money. If they said looks did matter, they would be cutting off a large part of their market, and in turn make a lot less money. Let’s face it, most good looking guys don’t look up seduction and pick up advice because they’re already successful.
Here’s the truth: “Looks are the Most Important Factor in Attraction.”
PUAs get some credit though, when an above average looking guy (6/10) has good game, then he will have a better chance compared to just small talking because he’s already slightly attractive. But there is no doubt that if you are below average in looks, no amount of game will save you.
And I truly believe every man can get to at least a 6/10.
I’ll ask you this…
Do you really believe that a short, obese, balding man covered in acne could get laid if he just said the right things?
Good looking guys have a huge advantage over average looking guys, even if the better looking guy has worse social skills.
Being good looking has even more benefits according to this study, “College students viewed pictures of men and women of different levels of attractiveness, some good looking, some average, and some unattractive. On the photographs alone, they rated the more attractive people as being more interesting, kind, modest, outgoing, sensitive and sociable. They also believed the good looking people had more prestigious jobs, great marriages, and better quality lives.“
These results show us that people associate good looking people with very positive traits and qualities.
PUAs often use lines and tactics so that they appear more interesting, outgoing and fun to be around. In reality, the woman probably sees right through their routine. Simply put, all you really have to do is have a good looking face and they will already assume these things about you.
If you’re good looking enough, most of what you say will already have value. If you don’t believe me then take a look at how women eat up anything an attractive guy says.
He could be boring, it could be the typical, “I had to come over and talk to you cause you’re sexy“, it could be juvenile like bathroom humor, regardless, women will giggle and have a great time talking to a guy who looks like a male model.
If an unattractive man said these things they wouldn’t have value to the woman, and simply wouldn’t make a difference.
PUAs will tell you that any boring and ugly guy can get laid as long as he approaches enough women and uses the right words.
But that’s simply not the case. Looks are important. End of story.
Often, when a good looking guy uses a dating app like Tinder he gets hundreds of matches in just the 1st day.
When an average looking guy does he might get 3 or 4 matches in the first week.
Contrary to popular belief, women are very picky when it comes to looks, and they seek out the best looking man they can get. It’s natural for people to do that. Biologically, we desire to pass on our genes with the most healthy looking person possible. Facial aesthetics and symmetry are great indicators of good genes and health. We are attracted to great looking people and drawn to them.
I’ll ask you this question to wrap up Part One of this post.
If this woman approached you in a bar, but spit some game, had good social skills, etc… Would you suddenly want to bang her?
Most likely not.
She isn’t terrible looking but she certainly isn’t my type. And I can see that just by looking at her.
Now, what if this woman approached you? Would the exact words she said matter to you?
The words wouldn’t matter and you wouldn’t think twice about it.You’d already be fantasizing about getting her clothes off because you’re physically attracted to her.
Some of you will say this is because men and women are different, and that men only care about looks and that’s why “Game” doesn’t matter to us.
It’s true that men and women are different, and that women don’t have to “game” us because men are usually the ones doing the approaching. However, no amount of game will get an ugly guy laid unless he’s filthy rich, some celebrity, or a professional athlete, and even then its due to his social status and money, not his game.
It doesn’t matter if you memorized the best pick up lines, if you’re already unattractive to the woman it won’t matter which tactic you use. You could use mind games and even implement reverse psychology, maybe you’ll make fun of her and use “Asshole Game” to somehow make her like you more. Nevertheless, you’d be wasting your time if she’s not physically attracted to you.
Sexual strategy and seduction tactics can definitely work, there is no doubt about that. But they won’t help you much if you’re not at least decent looking.
I’m absolutely not telling you to give up and sulk just because your looks don’t meet a certain standard. Instead, realize that if getting a lot of women is really important in your life, you need to improve your looks. Don’t waste your money on pick up seminars that won’t give you the harsh truth.
Once you have worked on your looks, you can work on your game.
Physical Attraction is the key. It opens the door for you. Once you’re in the door, a little game can help.
Study Source Referenced in the Post: Dion, K., Berscheid, E., & Walster, E. (1972). What is beautiful is good. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 24(3), 285-290.