Here we are in Part Two, Part 1 Found Here.
Some of you reading probably think I’m trying to tell you “Looks are the only thing that matters.”
I am definitely NOT telling you that looks are the ONLY thing that matter.
But looks are the most powerful factor in attraction.
When we first look at people, we subconsciously make judgements of that person. Our brain scans their face and body, in turn we decide how we judge that person solely based on how they appear to us. These judgements happen before this new person even speaks a word.
An experiment at Princeton University showed us that, “It only takes a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger from their face, and longer exposures of that person’s face don’t drastically alter those impressions initially made” In layman’s terms, if someone looks at a new face for less than a second, they would have the same opinion of that person even if they looked at them for much longer.
The take home point is that we immediately judge someone based on how their face looks. The size of your head, the width of your jaw, the narrowness of your eyes, etc, all factor into how others perceive us. Like I said in Part 1, attractive people are viewed very positively even if you know nothing about them.
On the other hand, your personality, body language, tone of voice, attitude, and even what you say, can make you more attractive. We all know that, and it’s true because those things can make you more attractive.
However, if you’re really into approaching girls or this PUA and Game stuff, you should be spending most of your efforts improving your looks, and not focusing on what you say.
Once you have improved you looks, you can start worrying about saying the right things.
The Truth About Attraction Is…
Women judge you based on your face.
Women you flirt with won’t invest as much in what you say unless you’re at least somewhat sexually appealing.
Sadly, if you’re not remotely attractive, it won’t matter what you say.
Let’s say you look like this guy.
And after using pick up lines and game that you researched, you are successful and get laid a lot. Guys will think you got laid because of your game, personality, or pick up lines. They might even say it’s because your “Smooth or Suave”.
But that’s not the case.
If you looked like this, women would be automatically attracted to you just by looking at your face.
Looks are the biggest thing women judge you on when choosing a partner.
Of course, how tall your are, and your muscular frame are also important in combination with your face.
The ideal man would have a great face, would stand at roughly 6 foot and have some muscle on his frame.
The problem is, not every man can look like that.
You can change how your body looks. The more muscle you add on, the more attractive you can become to an extent. I talked about this in Do Women Like Muscular Men?. Unless you take steroids, you won’t have to worry about appearing too muscular. And even then, how much muscle you have isn’t as important as your face or how tall you are.
Height for example, is something you can’t change unless you decide to buy something like a Elevator Shoes Insole Lift Kit, which tack on about 1-3 inches to your height. I bought these to see if I was treated differently being taller. I stand at a little over 6’1″, (but I round to 6’2), these insoles made me walk around at about 6’4″ (193 cm).
I felt much more confident and I did get slightly more glances from both men and women. Perhaps I’ll make a future post on this and how height affects attraction. But it’s not like I got laid three times as often when I wore those things.
And that brings me to the point.
Your face is more important than height and muscle. But, you can’t do too much to improve your face other than cosmetic surgery. The best advice is to get a nice haircut and keep your face very clean. (clear skin and white teeth)
Some PUAs understand this, but most try to tell you it’s not the case.
Here is the reality of the current society we live in:
Women have endless options for sex and relationships.
If you don’t believe me take a look at how even a below average woman will get hundreds of messages on online dating sites, while a below average man will get none.
Men are so desperate for sex they start to lose respect for themselves.
Even though I hate this saying, it is true: Women are the Gatekeepers of Sex.
You need to be good looking to open those gates.
Do you need to look like a male model?
Of course not, as long as you’re above average in looks, you’ll be okay.
Guys who aren’t born with great looking faces still can get women. But to attract a lot of women and to increase your chances, you need to improve your looks. Your “Game” won’t matter unless you’re already good looking.
You can’t convince a woman to sleep with you who isn’t already somewhat attracted to you.
Good game can certainly give you an edge over the competition. And how you behave around women can change how attracted they are to you. This is why I discussed being a Nice Guy vs. A Jerk, and ultimately how women are more attracted to jerks. You could actually be a good looking guy but if you’re too nice to women, they’ll lose attraction and respect towards you. Even if you look like a male model, women won’t like a guy who they can walk all over.
That’s why game only becomes important if the woman is already attracted to you.
I’m not telling you to go on a looks self-improvement journey unless that’s something you really desire.
You could go outside right now, talk to a girl and set up a date. Don’t think that just because good looking guys have it easier that you can’t get women. In all honestly, good looks increases your chances, but you still have a shot regardless. Playing the numbers game is very important for average looking guys.
If you’ve done all you can with your looks, start reading up on game. (Read: How To Pass Shit Tests)